Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it's like heaven, but drunker
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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