using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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