Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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