stop calling my apartment porn island.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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