4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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