I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
