Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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