you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
