Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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