I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
