i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
