I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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