i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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