i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
