oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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