I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
