Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
