fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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