best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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