I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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