Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you will always have a special place in my vag
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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