Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
