yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
