Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i came on her dog
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
