Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
