just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
