Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i think im in europe. pls send help
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
