i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Randomize
