laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
