Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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