We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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