You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
