do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
