Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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