So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
