I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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