Jerry, you need to find god
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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