After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
