weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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