Buhtt sex?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
