scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
