i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
