So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
