Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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