So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
