It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
