Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I've blown a few things in my day
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
