Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
