It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
