Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
