"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
