we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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